For me, writing and art had always been a therapeutic outlet to purge my emotions.”

Charles Marinaro

WHITE LAKE, NY — The Past Perfect Bookstore in Whitelake, NY was packed with attendees this Saturday for Author Charles Marinaro’s event for his book, Metamorphosis: The Art Antidote Odyssey. People crammed into the small cozy bookstore to hear Charles read passages from his best-selling memoir and have an opportunity to ask questions afterward. Attendees were entered into a free raffle upon arrival for a chance to win a free book with a gift card to a coffee shop as well as given a gift bag filled with various candies, a tiny pen, and a mini notepad for attendees to write their dreams, ambitions or their own stories, a butterfly magnetic bookmarker and two mental health awareness bracelets which summed up a recurring theme within the memoir. There was a spread of bakery treats, fruit, vegetable and cheese platters for everyone to enjoy throughout the event.

The audience at the event listened intently as Charles read an excerpt from the book in which he described what it was like living in a broken home with a single mother having schizophrenic delusions while struggling to properly provide for him and his other siblings. The audience shook their head in shock and some even began to tear up as Charles went into detail about how he ultimately ended up in foster care during the reading.

After the reading, Charles received questions from the attendees and online readers. One person asked, “Why would you want to relive traumatic experiences in your past by writing about them?” Charles then replied, “To remember all the things I’ve overcome and to remember those who were there for me during those unfortunate moments. I believe you can’t really appreciate the sweet without the sour in life. I appreciate life for everything it is."

Photos by  by Stefan Baumann

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Charles Marinaro's opening words

“I want to thank everyone from the bottom of my heart for taking time out of their busy schedules to be a part of this moment here with me. It has always been a dream of mine since I was a child to write a book and host an event like this. As a child into my teenage years, I found myself often in local bookstores like this one and the Ethen B. Crawford Library in Monticello, NY right up the street from my house using the computers for writing my stories, getting lost in various books and renting movies. The bookstores and the library were the first places that made me realize the possibilities of my dreams- All of the history and knowledge at my disposal. Bookstores like this one can inspire an entire generation of people with proper promotion and accessibility.

It's ironic that we are hosting this event during Mental Health Awareness Month given the content that is recurring throughout the book. I believe it is an important topic that we must understand and remove the stigma from against mental health issues this Mental Health Awareness Month and for the rest of the year… and beyond.

For over two years since the book’s release, I tried to host an in-person event but couldn’t due to the pandemic. Many offered a virtual event, yet I always appreciate the face-to-face interactions with people.  Metamorphosis has taken well over a decade to write to get to this point. For many years I didn’t believe it ever would be completed with so many bumps along the way and life being- Life… I’ve opened businesses, made movies, and hosted international film festivals yet nothing was nearly as challenging, emotionally draining and terrifying as writing a book about my life. All of the backlash I may face from others who might see me differently knowing my darkest secrets, regrets, traumas, obsessions… How others may not like how they were depicted or described… How specific memories and events had different relevance and meaning in certain people’s lives than they meant to me.

I began writing the original materials that would later transform into Metamorphosis at 15 years old, shortly after the loss of my mother. At the time it was just a chaotic collage of events that were written semi-autobiographical with fictitious characters. Though many of the conversations, names and locations were unreal the content and emotional weight was very real. Afraid to move forward from self-doubt and insecurities as well as getting pulled in a million different directions that life takes you- the material laid incomplete for over 10 years. Over that 10-year stretch, I often brainstormed creative new ways to reintroduce myself into the manuscript’s material. I tried poetry, lyrics, and even short stories but things didn’t quite add up correctly at the time to truly inspire me. Every so often I’d dive back into the material, practically starting the whole process over again. I began to question myself as later on others questioned me- What makes my story important? Who am I?

Why would anyone truly care what I have to say? As all of these questions bounced across my mind, I began to slowly but surely understand that writing doesn’t need a reason or explanation.

For me, writing and art had always been a therapeutic outlet to purge my emotions--- So in writing this memoir, I did it for no other reason but for myself. All of the wonderful people in my life, many gone, some in this very room I wanted to cherish and document forever in time. All of the memories, even the bad ones reminded me that I had overcome so much already. Over time we frequently forget things that matter most to us… Without pictures, videos, books and art do we really exist? I’ve come to realize that even the most important people in my life without pictures I forget their faces. What they smelled like… How their voice sounded…I found myself beginning to embellish their stories of them in conversations and block out all negative aspects about them.  I knew it may be an uncomfortable truth, but I wanted to remember people as they were. The beauty in people is their flaws, overcoming their misfortunes and apologizing for their mistakes- This is exactly how I moved forward in my writing.

Things didn’t work to jump back into the book until I completely hit rock bottom and was at a mental fork in the road with my life. I was unhappy with my career at the time, unable to properly pay my bills, my business had crumbled, long-term friendships recently ended, and my dreams felt further away than ever before. I thought about my life, reflecting on what went wrong… What went right… I began to write down these memories. The more I wrote the more detailed and deeper things got. I became obsessed with the process- feeling every word- Time traveling to other parts of my life. Reliving moments…

Metamorphosis is a journey about how I found therapy in art throughout all aspects of my life. The connection writing and arts had in saving both my mental health and my very own life. A story split into three separate parts, a chaotic childhood, a lost young adult and a dreamer. It is a story about a family sticking together against the odds as well as the importance of self-love in the darkest of times.”