PEACE AND JUSTICE FILES

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By SKIP MENDLER
Posted 1/4/23

Happy holidays, dear readers!

I am an easygoing guy, generally speaking—but there are a few things that I’ve come to recognize as pet peeves, trivial little occurrences that become opportunities for me to work myself into a state of high dudgeon and righteous indignation.

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PEACE AND JUSTICE FILES

(THIS TITLE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK)

Posted

Happy holidays, dear readers!

I am an easygoing guy, generally speaking—but there are a few things that I’ve come to recognize as pet peeves, trivial little occurrences that become opportunities for me to work myself into a state of high dudgeon and righteous indignation.

For example, I hate it when someone attaches a notice to a bulletin board or store window with just a single piece of tape or lone pushpin, rather than securing the upper corners. Inevitably, those upper corners start to curl inward, obscuring the message. Apostrophe abuse and “merchant’s quotes” (e.g. “LETTUCE” ON “SALE” NOW!) also set my teeth on edge.

But the worst one by my lights can be found in certain insurance company mailings and legal documents. When the end of the text is on the front side of a page, the back side frequently bears this declaration:

“THIS PAGE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK.”

I used to work in a copy center, and I’ve written technical manuals. I know what they are trying to say, and why it needs to be said. But the fact remains:

IT’S—NOT—BLANK!!

They could say something else—I’ve used “THIS PAGE HAS NO OTHER CONTENT,” for example—but no, they insist on promulgating a BLATANT IN-YOUR-FACE LIE. It’s practically gaslighting. You’re being asked to deny the evidence of your very senses.

I don’t know why this should bother me so much. Maybe I’m weird, but I think things should be called what they are, and not called what they aren’t. 

 

If a page has stuff written on it, don’t say it’s blank.

If a health plan only offers certain benefits in certain areas and under certain circumstances, quit using words like “may be available” or “see if you’re eligible” to entice subscribers.

If a government is really a plutocracy, where only the rich get what they want, don’t say it’s democratic, or that all citizens are equal.

If a guy has clearly committed criminal acts, but he’s not indicted and put on trial for fear of setting a bad precedent—or setting off a riot—then don’t say things like, “In our country, no one is above the law.”

In the next couple of years, we can expect to see a lot more linguistic legerdemain from our political leaders and commentators. People will say heinous things and try to pass them off as jokes. Others will make jokes and see them spun into heinous insults. Reputations and careers will be pumped up and destroyed over the course of two news cycles. Various forms of snake oil, unicorn poop and rainbow powder will be offered at fantastic discounts, but only if you call before midnight tonight!

Heck, who knows, pretty soon we’ll have politicians offering their own lines of collectible trading cards!

What? Really? Oh. Sorry.

So the bottom line is this: watch out for those who have weaponized language itself, from whatever angle. Beware the call to make snap judgments or follow gut impulses.

And most of all, read the fine print... Even if it says the page is blank.

opinions, peace and justice files, pet peeves

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