Neurodivergence is a relatively new term that refers to people whose brains process internal and external inputs in ways that aren’t typical for most. The term “neurodivergent” has become more common as we get better at diagnosing and hopefully accepting those who don’t fit within the bell curve of societal expectations.

So, is neurodivergence a disability? If we consider it as such, let’s remember that this “disability” isn’t about lacking something; rather, it’s about having unique responses to the environment, especially when that environment doesn’t accommodate or match their differences. Disability is part of the human experience, and we’ll all face it at some point.

Back to neurodivergence: right now, neurodiversity is a non-medical umbrella term that includes autism, ADHD and possibly a few other conditions such as dyslexia. It shows up differently in males vs. females, and having other disorders can affect getting the right diagnosis and treatment. 

Generally, neurodivergence often comes with issues such as OCD, anxiety disorders and even gastrointestinal problems like irritable bowel syndrome. Living with neurodivergence means facing challenges in all areas of life: making and keeping friends, succeeding in traditional educational settings, holding a job and maintaining intimate relationships. While I haven’t covered everything, these are some major issues.

Children sense being different early on, but they rarely have the means to express their concerns to adults. Often, adults responsible for their development don’t understand what they observe, leading to struggles at home and school as they try to make the child fit in. For parents, this can bring feelings of incompetence, lack of patience and fears about passing on damaged genes. It’s a world of anxiety for parents, yet they are key to their child’s ability to develop more positive coping strategies. Without this sort of guidance, children compensate for their sense of being different in ways that are not always effective.

For other adults in a child’s life, for example teachers and coaches, neurodivergent children pose a constant challenge to meet their needs while making compromises for the group’s progress. It’s draining for everyone since neurodivergence isn’t something you get over.

Yet, that’s the beauty of being neurodivergent. Like all animals, we adapt, learn, and change our thoughts and behavior in a world of neurotypical people. We interpret our world uniquely, contributing solutions, ideas and skills with ease and grace. We can be valuable team members, especially in teams that value our contributions and are motivated to see us and the team grow. That’s a huge win-win.

As young people, how we respond to situations is influenced by how we perceive them and develop coping strategies. When we’re young, our ability to choose healthy responses to a neurotypical world is just beginning. Often, maladaptive behaviors develop and become part of our persona. It’s common to see aggression, defiance, anxiety, and phobias as coping strategies when we can’t meet societal demands. Without proper guidance, young people might not develop positive strategies to navigate a neurotypical society.

Historically, diagnoses were mostly made in children, with the belief that people “grew out” of them as they became adults. But recent research shows that most people with these conditions continue to experience symptoms throughout their adult lives. Adult neurodivergence isn’t the same as that in children: adult life brings unique demands and situations, and adults struggle to fit in or hide their differences. Up to 15-20 percent of adults globally could have some form of neurodivergence.

As an adult, an occupational therapist, mother of a son with ADHD and a diagnosed neurodivergent person myself, I’ve been lucky to find environments and people that honor my skills and cope with my challenges. At 63, I’ve chosen to use stimulant medication to improve my quality of life and interactions. Finding a competent psychiatrist and being medicated has made me happier. Of course, I’m still impulsive, often unaware of how long tasks should take, and work too hard but love every minute. I struggle not to alienate potential friends by putting my foot in my mouth. I share my experiences so that if you, dear reader, know someone who seems odd or question if you might be neurodivergent, know there’s help and people who celebrate your uniqueness.

Finally, if you’re neurotypical and meet someone who seems odd or makes you uncomfortable, consider whether you’re focusing on their differences or what you share in common. Commonality breeds interdependence and compassion. As always, reach out with questions and comments.

Some information came from www.forbes.com/sites/forbestechcouncil/2021/08/13/neurodiversity-as-a-strengthening-point-for-your-team-and-our-society/?sh=123b973328f9 .

Hedy Schneller is the founder of Illumia Skincare Products, based in Honesdale, PA. Schneller, a former health care provider and mother of two, started making skincare products after growing frustrated with the lack of transparency in the cosmetics industry. Illumia uses local, fresh and healthy ingredients. Visit illumiaproducts.com for more.