OK—here’s the thing about making plans. My years of studying Buddhist principles taught me (and I’m paraphrasing here) that while it’s great to have plans, along with goals, dreams and ambitions, it’s “attachment” to those things that can lead to disappointment. And making plans that are in any way, shape, or form attached to the weather report is just plain nuts, IMHO.  

Therefore, with one eye on the clock and another on the skies, I kept my third eye on the weather over the weekend, since I had planned to check out Raphaele Shirley’s “Multiples in Scale” at the Delaware Valley Arts Alliance in Narrowsburg, NY. Described as a “vibrant light and sound installation” currently on display in the gallery’s Main Street windows, I understood why the reception was planned for viewing after the sun went down. But by the time I had planned to leave Camp Fox, the predicted “wintry mix” was already in full swing and I was in no mood for roads that are often a bit iffy when Mother Nature submits a challenge to the Upper Delaware River region. 

So with apologies to Shirley and the DVAA (and with a tip o’ the hat to Paul Simon) I will save my trip to the ‘burg for another day. The exhibit will be lighting up the DVAA’s window until February 1 [Ed. note: And see page 18 for some information about the exhibit], so we all still have time to check it out.

“Yeah, I’m a little disappointed,” I said to WJFF’s Sabrina Artel, whom I had called following my decision to stay home. “But that’s just a waste of energy. And I need all I can get these days, just to keep the dog from developing cabin fever. Hey Gidge,” I yelled out, cupping my hand over the phone. “Go get Pinky; we can play with her in the house.”

“And who exactly is Pinky?” Sabrina inquired. “Do you have company? Do I know this Pinky person?”

“Oh, I don’t think so,” I said, laughing. “It’s Pinky Spaldeen. She’s a bouncy-ball, and one of Gidget’s favorite toys.” 

“Your dog’s toys have names? You name her toys?”

“Doesn’t everybody?” I asked incredulously. “I just assumed that they did. Otherwise how would she know which is which?” 

That innocent question led to a lengthy, lively conversation with Sabrina regarding doggy intelligence and how interacting with their toys, and playtime in general, is a great way to keep Gidget’s mind sharp and increase the bond between dog, human and plaything.

I then shared some salient points culled from an article that Amarachi Orie had recently penned for CNN online, which states that researchers found that “eight minutes was enough for the dogs to learn the name of two new toys,” according to cognitive researcher and animal trainer Shany Dror. “Seven out of the 10 dogs reliably identified and retrieved the new toys when asked to do so by their owners,” Dror found. 

“Clearly, my dog is in the upper percentile,” I said to Sabrina with a weird sense of pride. “And nobody owns a dog.” 

“Well, Ronan is super smart, too!” Sabrina exclaimed, referring to her handsome 10-year-old poodle. “But no, we don’t name his toys. Should I?”

“I just always have,” I said, surprised that it wasn’t a universal thing. “Probably learned to do so from Barbara Fox,” I explained, referring to my mother and our interaction with a lifetime of dogs at our side. “But don’t take my word for it. Hang on; I think there’s even some info on the American Kennel Club (AKC) website somewhere.” Sure enough, a keyword search pulled up some related words on the topic.

“Our dogs understand many words, from obedience cues to words about their daily life and activities like walk, park, and dinner” writes AKC contributor Sassafras Patterdale (sounds like a pen name to me) regarding dogs and their playthings.

“But they can also be taught the names of different objects, including all of their toys. Mental stimulation is just as important as physical exercise for our dogs,” Patterdale informed me. “Teaching your dog the names of their toys is one fun way to give them some mental exercise—and it’s also sure to impress your friends and family. This brain puzzle game is low impact, making it good for dogs of all ages,” she writes, emphasizing that it “is the perfect activity for when time or weather prevents you from getting outside with your dog.”

“See what I mean?” I said to Sabrina. “And the weather outside is frightful, but our dogs are so delightful,” I sang, in a slightly cringey way.

“OK,” Sabrina said. “But Pinky Spaldeen? Why not just say ‘“Go get your ball’? And what kind of a name is that?”

“Ummm…,” I said, in a long, sarcastic, drawn-out manner. “My dog has, like, 12 balls. How would she know which one I was talking about?”  

Once again referring to the AKC info, I quoted the club’s article posted online. “When building your dog’s vocabulary,” it states, “try to be consistent with the names that you give to different toys. The names can be descriptive of the object, like calling a tennis ball ‘Ball’ or a plush bear ‘Bear.’ You can also get creative and give them more unique names.” 

Until now, I had no clue that there was a science to the notion of naming Gidget’s toys, but had always understood that doing so was building her somewhat extensive vocabulary, far beyond “cheese,” “leash” and “ride.” 

Have I gone overboard with calling one de-stuffed fox Flatsy and the other one (he’s missing a foot) Peg-leg? Maybe, but Gidget has a barnyard’s worth of farm critters, so we have to have a “creative” system for identifying which animal she should hunt down. Therefore, her blue alpaca-esque stuffy is named Llama Dolly. Catch my drift?

There are exceptions to the rule, of course, especially if the toys come with a name attached. Like Bumble (of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” fame) or Gumby (because he’s Gumby, dammit)—but if your dog is multi-lingual like mine, Bambi becomes Bamblina, a sombrero-wearing cactus (don’t get me started) is dubbed Panchito, and so on and so forth and what have you. 

My personal favorite is an upside-down splattered-on-the-sidewalk plush ice cream cone (who comes up with these things?) named Chip, Mint Chip, At Your Service.

At the end of the day, naming my dog’s toys turns out to be good mental stimulation for her, and a healthy way to keep my feeble mind semi-sharp at the same time. Is this common in your house, or is your pooch’s collection moniker-deprived? Send me some pics of your canine and their favorite playtime pal to Jonathanfox@riverrporter.com and I’ll plan on compiling an album for all to enjoy at www.riverreporter.com.

Meanwhile, if you’re seeking handy tips on how to train your dog to identify which ball to fetch (there’s only one Pinky Spaldeen), check out this handy step-by-step guide from our friends at the AKC: www.akc.org/expert-advice/training/dog-trick-identify-toys-by-name/.

For more on WJFF’s Sabrina Artel and her weekly Radio Catskill “Trailer Talk” podcast, go to www.wjffradio.org. 

Fun Fact:  My “tip o’ the hat” refers to “Slip Slidin Away,” a hit song by Paul Simon, peaking at No. 5 on the Billboard Pop singles chart in 1977.