I was planning to call this column “Slow down; you move too fast,” but without even looking, I’m sure that I’ve used that line before, so I won’t. 

The fact of the matter is that I am moving too quickly, as is my wont at this time of year, but I don’t want to. 

Nothing is that important, not even a fantastic show at the Farm Arts Collective (FAC), nor a very entertaining offering for the kiddos at the Delaware Valley Opera Center (DVOC), much less the ultra-cool vibe that permeated the atmosphere of the tavern at the Forestburgh Playhouse (FBP) last weekend—all of which I’ve done in a whirlwind of dog, phone, camera, leash, repeat.

Since I’m zipping around the Upper Delaware River region at what seems like the speed of light, I often make notes to myself while  driving home following an event, by asking my phone to record my thoughts while still fresh in my mind, as I make my way to the next stop—and the one after that.

My reason for a visit to the FAC was twofold, maybe three. Firstly, I’m an avid fan of what Artistic Director Tannis Kowalchuk and her intrepid band of creative players continue to achieve on the grounds of the beautiful Willow Wisp Organic Farm. 

Secondly, their production of “Lucy Joseph,” written and directed by Mimi McGurl, has been in development for about two years and I’ve been intrigued ever since taking in a staged reading of the show last December (www.riverreporter.com/stories/a-rose-by-any-other-name,176064). 

Thirdly, (is that a word?) I was more than curious to see how the play, based on the true story of Lucy Ann Lobdell, aka “the female hunter of Long Eddy,” has evolved into what is now a full-fledged honest-to-goodness beautifully staged production. So I tossed Gidget into her car seat and drove off to join an enthusiastic audience of like-minded individuals, out for a night of captivating theatre. And soup, of course. There’s always soup. 

I recorded notes on the way home, some of which I’ll share here with the help of my phone’s weirdly human-sounding English-butler voice.

“A gripping story beautifully and vividly brought to life,” my iPhone “virtual assistant” Siri intoned. 

Additional recorded thoughts revealed that I found the play, “fully realized and practically faultless”—words rarely used at Camp Fox. The cast, featuring a captivating performance by Jess Beveridge in the title role, also showcased the many talents of Laura Moran, John Roth and ensemble players Pam Arnold, Annie Hat, Doug Rogers and playwright McGurl, many of whom played multiple characters with great panache.

FAC newcomer Samantha Mehlman impressed me, effectively breathing life into two of McGurl’s characters—including Lucy/Joseph’s wife of many years—delivering a performance that, like Beveridge’s, appeared deceptively effortless. No mean feat. 

“One of the reasons that this show succeeds so well,” my notes continue, “is that it’s new. Nobody has ever seen it before, and while there’s a first time for every new play, it doesn’t happen often. But is in a nutshell what the Farm Arts Collective is all about. Oh, and don’t forget to mention,” Siri reminded me, “that this production really shows off the versatility of the beautiful new space that Tannis and Co. have created. It’s very, very cool.” 

Speaking of cool, the DVO is presenting a “one-act family opera” geared to the younger set, in the form of “Knightly News.” The opera stars Ramon Tenefrancia, (Prince Charming), Warren Harding (Big Bad Wolf), Margaux Frolich (Little Red Riding Hood) and Veronica Mak (as one of the three little pigs). More than ably accompanied by Martin Yazdzik on the piano, the performers were (according to my notes) “at the top of their game cavorting on a prettily designed set, while introducing young folks to the genre.”

In “Knightly News,” (music by Jonathan Stinson and lyrics by Stinson and Sarah Rogevich), each performer had moments to truly shine. I noted that Harding was “a devious and menacing villain without being frightening for the little ones,” and that Frolich was “an adorable ingénue.” Mak was “downright hilarious” and “Tenefrancia, as the obnoxious, self-involved Prince Charming, all but stole the show.” 

My notes also inform me that there are additional performances scheduled for Saturday and Sunday, June 14 and 15. Reservations can be made through My River Tickets at www.delawarevalleyopera.org/index.php/tickets. 

Following a kid-friendly matinee last weekend, a two year-old turned to his grandmother and was heard to simply say “More.” ‘Nuff said.

When my phone pinged with a reminder that I was scheduled to check out a band that I’ve neither heard nor seen before, I groaned. “I’m exhausted!” I yelled at the piece of plastic, metal and miniaturized computer chips that rules my life. 

“But it’s in the tavern at the Forestburgh Playhouse,” Siri said in that annoying British accent. “You love the Playhouse, don’t you?” he asked, as if creepily reading my mind. “And the band is ‘Fisher Cat.’ I hear they’re wildly popular.”

Normally, I’d question how my phone has “heard” anything, but since it always seems to be listening, the notion seemed disturbingly plausible. So Gidge and I took my smartphone’s advice and went. 

Turns out that the band is as popular as Siri said, and the place was packed with folks out to eat, drink and be seriously merry at the tavern, which has officially opened for the season.

Backed by accomplished musicians Rich Klingman, Geordy Jurgens, Chris Colson, Stefan Jacobs and Christy Fiero, entertaining lead singer Kacy Colson (with solid backup vocalist Hope Godchaux) rocked the house with great covers of “Rich Girl,” “Love Shack,” “Stuck in the Middle” and “Take Me to the River,” among other classic hits ranging from the ‘70s straight through to the modern day. People danced as the band played on; my dog didn’t whine once; and even I had a swell time. That in itself is noteworthy. In my humble opinion.

Fun Fact: Siri is a “backronym” that stands for Speech Interpretation and Recognition Interface. It is a “digital assistant” developed by Apple Inc. and released on October 4, 2011.