There’s a concept circulating on social media: “Inconvenience is the cost of community.” It suggests that if we want healthy relationships, we need to show up. Practicing self-care, setting appropriate boundaries, and knowing when to say “no” are important, but if we want strong families, friendships and communities, we must sometimes say “yes” and accept the accompanying inconveniences.

Prominent songwriter and musician Lucy Dacus, a role model for many people learning to practice self-care, recently and famously asserted, “Caring about other people is, like, exponentially more important for your health than self-care… there’s, like, a biological imperative to breathing each other’s air.” Showing up is essential to our well-being. 

Since coming to work for the River Reporter, I’ve thought a lot about the inconvenience of community. Part of my job is recruiting news ambassadors, community members willing to regularly attend public meetings and report back to the newspaper so that we can share their reporting with the public. How do I ask people to do that when I know how busy they are? How do I present this to others when I often feel challenged by my own commitments?

But then I am heartened by people doing it, busy people making time to show up. I see news ambassadors taking on extra meetings to provide fuller coverage of the towns they love. I see youth news ambassadors attending really (really) long school board meetings to cover issues that shape their lives. I see elected representatives working to do the most good for the greatest number of constituents with little attention or reward. I talk with people who promote media literacy—knowing how to listen, manage bias, and think critically—to help us remember that we are neighbors, that we need each other, and that showing up for each other matters.

In the half-year since I’ve been with the paper, my mindset has shifted. Although my algorithm continues to insist that a great chasm exists between me and those around me who think-believe-vote differently than I do, I no longer believe that’s true. Someone profits when I think that way, and that someone is not me (and likely not you). The most significant social and cultural difference that I observe, when I trust my own experience, is between people who are chronically online and people who live in the real world.

Online, communities are wastelands. Neighbors hate each other. Families are falling apart. People say horrifying things. In the real world, communities are vibrant and diverse—imperfect, but striving to be better. Neighbors look out for each other, help each other. Families struggle to do their best. People offer encouragement and comfort. 

Of course, our challenges are also real. But because our problems are real, our solutions must be, too. How do we escape the divisiveness, rancor and increasing loneliness and alienation so many of us feel? Maybe we don’t escape. Maybe, instead, we lean in.

We say yes, when we can, to the real world—to awkward interactions, uncomfortable chairs, weird smells, bad coffee—even though it makes us feel vulnerable. As Dacus says, “Go to the party.” We need to go to the party. See live performances. Have coffee with friends. Attend meetings. Volunteer. Cross the river; do it again. Subscribe to the newspaper to learn about all the great stuff happening. (Seriously, subscribe!)

Becoming a River Reporter news ambassador is one way to do this. Please reach out to me at social@riverreporter.com  if that’s something you’d like to consider, or join our conversation at the River Reporter office in Narrowsburg on Wednesday, April 8 at 7 p.m. We’ll have snacks!

Attending meetings as a news ambassador can be inconvenient, but rewarding, too. In my own experience, inconveniences aside, I’ve had goosebumps and even tears in my eyes in the most mundane settings because I was so moved by how much people care for each other. It’s been a great reminder for me of the goodness out there. 

Whatever you do, I hope it brings you joy, even if it annoys and inconveniences you a little. And in this moment, I hope you feel how glad I am to share a community with you.

Lenore Rogan is the community engagement coordinator at the River Reporter.