I am not a fan of being late, fashionably or otherwise. When I was growing up, my Uncle Sid was always late. Be it a Sunday dinner, arriving at a Bar Mitzvah or leaving on a jet plane, Sidney was notoriously lagging behind. So much so that my mother—his sister—was often at her wits’ end, constantly inventing clever ways to trick her sibling into showing up on time. 

Hearing mom bemoan her brother’s tardiness ad nauseam left an indelible mark on my psyche, and as a result I’m usually the first to arrive but never the last to leave. “Be on time, but don’t wear out your welcome,” Barbara Fox would advise me, wagging one of her perfectly manicured nails in my face.  

Naturally, there are exceptions to every rule, and attending an event that is 12 hours long is enough to give anyone pause about arriving early—even Uncle Sid. Such was the case last Friday as the 98.3 WSUL Heart-A-Thon got underway at Resorts World Catskills, the “title sponsor” of the fundraiser. 

I showed up late, but still spent more than a few hours snapping pics, keeping tabs on the tote board and chatting with folks donating their time, their blood and their hard-earned money to this incredibly worthy cause. 

Now in its 46th year, Sullivan County’s “longest-running community event for cardiovascular health” has raised millions to date, and I checked in with Bold Gold Media’s events and promotions coordinator Jennifer Clarke for this year’s grand totals. 

“We’re thrilled to report that through the generous donations of all concerned, the Heart-A-Thon raised more than $80,000 this year,” Jenn said, “and our community turned out in droves to donate over 50 pints of blood, enough to help 156 people in need.” 

I cannot help but admire the largesse of the sponsors, the tireless devotion of the volunteers and the amazing staff at Bold Gold Media. As they say at the Heart-A-Thon, “The beat goes on.”

We had snow last Tuesday, which caused Carol Montana’s “Shorts and Sweets for Valentine’s Day” to be rescheduled. Not unhappy that February 14 had passed, I showed up at the Ethelbert B. Crawford Library ahead of schedule last Saturday, to get a good seat and introduce Carol to That Dog Named Gidget, something Ms. Montana had been attempting to do for months. 

As the room filled up, the pooch settled down and we were all treated to Carol regaling us with thoughtfully curated pieces, interspersed with a few semi-bawdy jokes thrown in for good measure.  

“God, you’re good,” someone chimed in from the back of the room as Carol entertained with a variety of short, sweet pieces I described in my notebook as “touching, moving, funny and fine.” It’s little wonder that Carol consistently draws a crowd wherever she appears, be it a reading, a play or a show she directs under the umbrella of her Big Sky Productions (like ‘em on Facebook)—she never disappoints, and has a regular following that continues to grow.

I left before wearing out my welcome, ran home, changed into something more fashionable and made my way back to Monticello for a runway show at The Black Library and Community Art Space. It was my first time visiting the ultra-cool converted bank building, and I had read that the library’s mission is “to celebrate Black culture and history, as well as create a collaborative, creative, and educational atmosphere for the residents of Sullivan County, New York.” 

“The Black Library proudly presents its inaugural Fashion Show Fundraiser,” their dot com proclaimed, “featuring exclusive designs crafted by talented local designers and showcased by local models, this event celebrates the creative genius of our community. With clothing designers who diligently craft in our space every day, this showcase is a testament to their dedication and innovation over the past five months.”

“Inaugural” indicates that others will follow, and if the fashion show presented last weekend is any indication, there will definitely be more to come. The place was standing-room-only and packed with excited spectators enjoying the cool vibe, cool music and cool models strutting their stuff in a real-life fashion show that was (IMHO) pretty darn cool. Glancing around at the crowd, I quickly realized that I was the oldest guy in the place and not as fashionable as previously thought, since folks were dressed up for a night on the town and looking genuinely cool, something that’s not in my wheelhouse. 

I had fun playing paparazzi with the other photographers as the models did their thing. Flashbulbs popped, cell phones recorded and spectators burst into applause repeatedly, showing their appreciation for the designers, the fashions and the models, all of whom did a bang-up job. I was hoping to win a piece of fashionable clothing with my raffle tickets, but once again left early, since I’m “best in small doses” as you-know-who used to remind me on a regular basis. Thanks, Mom. At least I wasn’t late, fashionably or otherwise.

Ask the Google: Q—What does ad nauseam mean? 

A—The adverb refers to something that has been done or repeated so often that it has become annoying or tiresome. You know… like this column.