FOR ALL OF US — When you hear the words “masculine” or “feminine,” what comes to mind?

Likely a specific type of man or a particular type of woman, but archetypes of both masculine and feminine energies live within us all, and the spectrum they each span is broader than you might think.

Taking it in the most basic terms, said Angell Deer, shamanic practitioner at The Sanctuary in Callicoon, the masculine energy archetype is one of an outward process. It’s about actively doing, thinking or speaking. The feminine energy archetype is a more internal process—being, listening, holding, and creating from within; receptive, but not entirely passive; stillness, but with movement in flow from the heart.

Deer works closely with indigenous people, and his teachers/tribe elders look to nature as a guide, he said. In this case, they look more specifically at nature’s inclination toward balance.

For example, you have day and night, summer and winter, and you can find elements like air and fire that are more masculine in their activity and give balance to the more feminine elements of Earth and water that are nourishing and give or sustain life, he said.

The stillness within

Once you have sought the masculine and feminine within yourself, learn to embrace stillness.

Restorative yoga teacher Jillian Pransky says, “In order to relax, we need to first feel safe.” And Angell Deer offers suggestions.

If the inner feminine does not feel safe, then the masculine side takes over and keeps us busy (and angry) to keep us from being overwhelmed by emotion.

Notice your own aversion to stillness and silence—feminine qualities—and ultimately really being in your body. It shows up in myriad ways; binge-watching Netflix on a daily basis, working too much, eating too much food and sweets, drinking alcohol or doing drugs, gossiping and talking a lot are all examples of noise used to drown out this really important connection.

Even the human body, as an individual representation of the Earth, is a feminine archetype. So is the emotional space, whereas the mind and mental space is more masculine.

But there are also areas where the duality is less black-and-white.

In the gray space of balance

Deer offered examples: a flower, which has both masculine and feminine parts for reproduction.  Or bees, which are born with the ability to develop either genitalia and what they are fed within the first three days is the determining factor. This understanding that nature exists in the gray space of balance can potentially help one begin to acknowledge their own imbalances, regardless of gender identification, he said, and show the reality of holding space for potentially contradictory information to exist simultaneously.

Quinn Alexander Fontaine—artist, comic, best-selling author and proud transgender man—explained how he needs both masculine and feminine energy or he would otherwise be out of balance.

“My masculine energy helps me move forward in life and my feminine energy reminds me to do it mindfully and with more self-care,” he said. “My inner masculine helps me stay motivated and get ‘unstuck’ and my inner feminine is the nurturing aspect that really lovingly helps me re-parent my inner child. I feel that it’s my inner feminine that helps me forgive myself frequently.”

It has become increasingly clear to many observers that as a society, we are imbalanced in the direction of the masculine—war, greed, overconsumption, our obsession with productivity and power, praise of the mind-space over the feeling-space—which means that to move back into balance, we must make connecting to our inner feminine the top priority.

March is Women’s History Month and March 8 was International Women’s Day, so there’s no better time to begin to acknowledge this. But what does that actually look like?

First, take a look at both energy archetypes in the human form. See the graphics that describe healthy and unhealthy masculine and feminine traits below, and “The stillness within” sidebar above.

Then, learn to listen, deeply

First, be aware of what we do to avoid listening, suggests Deer. Sometimes this awareness is enough to open an inner dialogue.

Once you’re able to approach your wounding and imbalances with compassionate curiosity, you can begin to practice deep listening, or bearing witness.

Deer explained this as a space where the mind stops; there is no preparation of an answer, no judgment, no action, just a surrender and a trust in yourself, in the person you’re practicing deep listening and bearing witness with, or even a faith in something greater.

For some, this type of genuine presence is a spaciousness that extends time. And in that spaciousness, needs and options present themselves with clarity because one is able to trust in the present moment which holds infinite possibilities.

Meditation connects with the feminine

For Fontaine, the daily morning practice of meditation and prayer are sacred moments that not only connect him to his inner feminine, but are also where he feels connected to creation, and all that is kinder, gentler and softer in the world.

On occasions where he feels stressed or overwhelmed, he also practices earthing—walking barefoot on the earth—and asks Mother Earth to take all he cannot hold in his body temple.

The act of deep listening, the stillness of meditation, connection to the Earth, and deep surrendering, are all divinely feminine in nature.

Seeking wisdom, connecting to others

Connecting with and honoring the inner feminine that resides in us all will look a little different for everyone,  but it opens the space to connect with others from a place of deeper empathy. Fontaine says when connecting to someone, inner feminine to inner feminine, deeper trust forms.

Deer explains, “If I can practice deep listening with myself, really return to my body, and practice deep listening with others, I can expand my wisdom and my capacity to be present, maybe with things that I can’t comprehend, don’t agree with, or can’t change.”

When we expand our capacity to live in the paradoxes of life, we also expand our capacity to connect with others.

If we really listen to another, to ourselves, to the wisdom of our bodies and nature, Deer says, then we might discover something deeper that is moving inside us.

As human beings, we’re designed to belong with each other, to be safe, to be loved, to receive love, to know that we are worthy of it.

Finding a balance between our inner masculine and feminine energy archetypes, taking time to slow down, listen, and receive the wisdom our bodies, the Earth, and others are yearning to share with us, might feel like a tall order. But no matter how you identify, when we connect with and honor our inner feminine, it reflects in healing and wellness across all aspects of our lives.